Steve aoki dating
So like I'm this betch at Duke University, yeah I know betches love my college xo, but I'm starting to question my betches' loyalty to not giving a fuck/doing whatever the fuck we want/ruling the world.In short, I fucked someone famous and now the girls I thought were betches in my sorority and two other ones (key three, duh) are actually starting to be bitches about it.Of course I knew what that implied and I just had to tell the rest of my girls. I sent out an email to my entire sorority delivering the news.Safe to say no one was completely shocked, after all I am known as one of the baddest betches around.I guess I should have stopped trying to get insanely fucked up at that point since apparently I also went around telling every single guy in our top fraternities that the guy on top of their party playlists, whom I also called BONZAI at this point--beat that first name basis, had been on top of me for most of the afternoon.After my late night solo sesh with Aoki I was convinced that sex will never get better, although the hair was in fact a little much.Also, I want the world to know that the other girl in this threesome who I outed without her consent in my email is both unfairly being picked on and simultaneously not as hot/good in bed as me. Stop changing your profile picture to a guy who had sex with you while he was in town and then never spoke to you again.Famous or not famous, it's never cool to be treated like a slutty groupie.
If you want word to get out all you need to do is quietly tell one person but the fact that you're shouting about your sluttiness from the rooftop and telling every guy you see how easy you are is actually pretty sad.
Translation: I immediately felt the need to brag about my slutty inability to not fuck bros to my entire sorority.
Even though I'm fully aware that disseminating emails where I talk about having promiscuous sex will be forwarded and sent to everyone I know, including probably and inevitably my parents and future children, my urge to show everyone how badass, cool, and hot I am superseded this. It's fine to have sex with whoever you want, and even sort of kind of cool that you had sex with someone mildly famous even if he does look like an extra in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but it is NOT OKAY to brag about it on your sorority listserv.
Sincerely, Sushi Roll'ed Dear Sushi Roll'ed, This has got to be the biggest case of delusional narcissism I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot. Ugh there's so much I want to make fun of that I don't even know where to start. Never had I thought my first threesome experience would be with STEVE. He had to get ready for the show and sent my friend and I off, but not before he got my number.
Let's break this shit down piece by piece because I really don't know when I'm going to get another gem like this in my inbox. I don't know if it was the alcohol, the heat, or the adrenaline of having Aoki's long, sweaty hair hitting my skin for a good thirty minutes, but I could feel that this wasn't over.