Rules of dating after a divorce
Two-plus years out of a bad marriage, I’m in no rush to find husband No. When I do take that step, I want to be certain it’s a lifelong, healthy relationship that’s good for me and good for my three kids.
With a 50-percent divorce rate, America is seeing more mixed families than ever before.
“We went to the park and, oh, we happened to run into Jeff, Jake and Jordan.
It’s terrible when people date and get their kids all attached and the kids are thinking they’re going to be brother and sister and then you dump the guy. ’ One time we met at the gas station to follow each other and they’re like, ‘Didn’t you meet him at a gas station?
It’s because I did exactly what experts recommend: take it slow, not force a new guy on the kids and follow their lead.
Research shows that “it’s the exception that parents remarry,” says Dr. “The most difficult thing for kids to understand is they don’t have control over their parents’ relationship.” “Clarify that it’s OK to like and love two different people,” says Spector.“To speak to Annie about it and if she chose, then she dealt with the children. Let your ex know you’re dating; don’t let him or her find out from the kid or a friend.That has protected (both) relationships all these years.” “Whether the divorce was good or bad, whether there’s still feelings of resentment or bitterness, be kind to each other,” says Buscemi. Let your ex know if you’ve decided to get married – be short and sweet, don’t write a litany about how happy you are to pledge your life to that person.” When your child warms to a new beau, they may feel anxiety, thinking it’s a betrayal of the other parent.Terri Orbuch, professor at Oakland University, research professor at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research and a family therapist.“Tell them they are your first priority and you’ll always be there for them, no matter who you’re dating.” If kids are resistant or negative, don’t get defensive. “I’ve done a pretty careful job of limiting (my son’s) exposure to anybody that I wasn’t 100 percent sure could be marriage (material),” says Sean Singer, a divorced dad in Plymouth.