Married but separated dating
People often wonder about dating someone who is separated—not officially divorced. I have been separated for over a year, with young kids I have half the time.
Read this email I received from a reader who is having problems in online dating because he is separated–not officially divorced.
I wrote about this extensively here, in a post called “When Do You Begin Dating Again After a Long-Term Relationship or Marriage? And you’re certainly not ready to love with reckless abandon. So, Sara, like most situations that stymie my readers, the answer isn’t as obvious as “dump him” or “go for it.” It depends on the man, the nature of his divorce, his emotional availability, and his ability to get in touch with himself.
” In it, I concluded that it’s up to the individual. And just cause you WANT to move on from your previous relationships does not mean you’re really READY to. Generally, if you’re dating immediately after divorce, you’re hurt, reeling and looking for a safe harbor in the storm that is singledom. He thought he was ready for another committed relationship but needed a break before moving ahead. He told her he’d come back after he had time to sort things out. Very reasonable men want to love again, and are shocked to find out that it’s not possible.
As a dating coach/expert, what do you think of the idea of dating someone who is still in the process of divorce?
The relationship might have been dead five years ago, but the paperwork is still pending. A man who says he’s ready to move on isn’t necessarily ready to move on. After all, he doesn’t even know if he is or if he isn’t.
Because of these contradictions, you have to do a reality check and assess whether a) he’s invested in you as a long-term partner, or b) whether you’re his transitional woman as he segues into single life.
Separated men don’t typically fare well on online dating sites.
That’s because any woman in the know knows how badly it feels to be involved with a man who is emotionally unavailable and, even worse, how it feels to eventually become his rebound relationship – the one from which SHE will never rebound with him.