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If angry about the unfairness of someone else, you must be sure that you are being fair.

Otherwise, you will merely react to a jerk like a jerk.

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That's right, while angry or resentful, it is nearly impossible for you to restore self-regard on your own, because now it requires that someone submit to what you want.

The best you can hope for while angry or resentful is a temporary sense of self-righteousness.

While we have your attention, though, consider this: NUVO lives on revenue from advertisers and from supportive readers -- like you, hopefully. For as little as a month, you can keep us alive and fighting and can have unlimited access to independent news that can’t be found anywhere else. You’ve read 25 articles this month and now, we’d like you to be join our mission and become a NUVO Supporter. It means you depend on independent and local news sources to keep you informed. Coincidentally, independent and local news sources depend on you too.

It means you depend on independent and local news sources to keep you informed. Coincidentally, independent and local news sources depend on you too.

Eliminating anger problems depends on a choice of what kind of person you want to be - an angry, resentful person who struggles to manage negative feelings and arousal, or one who lives securely in your core value.

When out of touch with your deepest values, you are more likely to act on ego - how you expect other people to regard you.

Once again, your self-regard will depend not on what you do, but on the regard of others (who are likely to be preoccupied with their own self-regard.) In short, you will be become more vulnerable.

If you use the guilt and shame as a motivation to be true to your core value, i.e., to behave more fairly, your self-regard will instantly improve; you will act with conviction and not need anger for defense.

But if you blame your unfair behavior on someone else - a spouse or boss or the IRS - you will become angry or resentful and utterly powerless to restore genuine self-regard.

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