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David Waters is a couples counsellor and faculty member of The School of Life, where he teaches classes including 'How to Communicate Better in Love’ Be able to reveal vulnerability, even if it feels daunting.
When we start a relationship we like to feel in control, powerful even – to protect ourselves from the vulnerability that comes with opening up to a lover.
It can be surprising and revealing and paves the way for honesty.
We tend to jump in with an opinion before we’ve heard each other out.
It’s those differences that make life more interesting, as our lover opens up a whole new way of seeing or understanding the world.
An ally in the family can also fill in aspects of the past that may help you to understand your partner. If you’re tempted to check your partner’s inbox or online history, stop, talk to yourself (whatever the psychologists say, it’s good for you). One of the more ridiculous myths about “true love” is the idea of the soulmate – that there is someone out there who is your perfect match.A good relationship is about navigating the numerous differences between you – over politics, food, money, how to raise children.It can be pretty sexy in bed too – as long as you’re laughing together. No matter how bad things are, give your partner a chance to speak.Given silence in which to speak or rant, they’ll say more than they meant to – even more than they knew they were thinking.